拾乐园 Paradise Found  
#12  Casual Thought             Go Back
THX, my friend.
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#11  Re: Casual Thought             Go Back
Wow, what a marvelous piece of jade! the poet himself certainly knows best about his own work.

i especially like this line below. simple and beautiful.
"intoxicating Autumn
ripples in America River and Gold river"

please keep up your good work, my friend.
        

#10  Casual Thought             Go Back
I will keep my promise and try. The first one, it is too hard for me....

秋到山城
2012年九月

终于
荒漠的灰调淡去
山城的绿色明丽
at last
dullness of the desert is gone
verdancy brightens my hill town

美洲河和金沙河的波影
摇荡着醉人秋意

intoxicating Autumn
ripples in America River and Gold river

胜者的桂冠
欢呼着山的欣喜

shout of the mountain
crowns me with laurel wreath like a victor

天赐的油膏
浇灌着海的呼吸

breath of the ocean
anoints me with heaven's favor


淘金人喧嚣
铺路人悲喜

Oh, the hustle and bustle of gold diggers
The joy and sorrow of railroad laborers
(Steal it from you...:) )

昨天的生活
今天的游记

their life of yesterday
is my journel of today
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#9  Casual Thought             Go Back
Wow, I am done....:)

Dare not to come out mine after yours. Are you kidding? No way! You are the JADE, and the pearl. Shine, my friend, shine!
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#8  Re: Casual Thought             Go Back
your words are marked, so please keep your promise.

indeed, words are often lost in translation. nonetheless, do it just for fun.

谬赞了。 久不见,怎这般客气哦。 你抛玉引砖嘛。
恭敬不如从命。 抛砖:


_________________________________________________________________

秋到山城
2012年九月

Autumn Upon Mountain Town
By Immanuel

终于
荒漠的灰调淡去
山城的绿色明丽
美洲河和金沙河的波影
摇荡着醉人秋意
胜者的桂冠
欢呼着山的欣喜
天赐的油膏
浇灌着海的呼吸

As desert grey finally fades away
mountain green brightens up beautifully
The intoxicating autumn view shimmers
in tremulous reflections on American River and Gold River
The victor’s laurel crown
is hailing the joy of mountain
The heaven-bestowed ointment
is watering the breath of sea


淘金人喧嚣
铺路人悲喜
昨天的生活
今天的游记

The hustle and bustle of gold diggers
The joy and sorrow of railroad laborers
The life of yesterday
enters my travel journal of toady

Sept. 2012


Tr: Yuntian
        

#7  Casual Thought             Go Back
Great! You actually toiled for some gold. Have not tried myself yet. Will do when settled more. And IF I got some, will certainly share with you, at least a picture of it....:)

Feel I can't do justice to my first Poem with my own translating. Too many notions are quite un-Chinese in their way of symbolizing things.


正譬如古诗典故,很难做字面的翻译。你的翻译已经让我叹服,原谅我不敢班门弄斧了。

再有,我的本意是抛砖引玉,让你把我的中文诗翻成英文。。。:)
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#6  Casual Thought             Go Back
America River and Gold River converge at our area. It is where the first cross land railroad ended with..
---- that must be Sacramento area?
been there a couple of times, visiting the Capitol building and railway museum. a nice place.

you've found your gold? believe it or not, i believe it, but a picture of your gold nuggets will help convince all the friends here.
i did try my luck once in Yosemite area, and a sprinkle of gold dust glittering in the mud was all i got.

joking aside, you are quite a spiritual person.

i'm craning my neck for your translation. just kidding. please do take your time, my friend.

a typo is nothing. as always, enjoy reading your beautiful writing, be it English or Chinese.
thanks for clarifying it for a lost lamb like me.
        

#5  Casual Thought             Go Back
New task...) I will try it later myself.

秋到山城
2012年九月

终于
荒漠的灰调淡去
山城的绿色明丽
美洲河和金沙河的波影
摇荡着醉人秋意
胜者的桂冠
欢呼着山的欣喜
天赐的油膏
浇灌着海的呼吸

淘金人喧嚣
铺路人悲喜
昨天的生活
今天的游记

Note: America River and Gold River converge at our area. I packed up my wagon to a town where they first found gold in the West. It is where the first cross land railroad ended with, which was built with cheap Chinese labor at the time. I have found my gold and my root. Can you believe it?
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#4  Casual Thought             Go Back
LOL...:) corrected them. Thank You!!! I can't even do the spelling right. What a shame...:)

About the Chinese version, I feel so SAD to tell you that I posted it here because I was confused with the list of options...

But you have made everything perfect.... Also many thanks to you for your warm welcome at the other thread, my friend. You make me feel at home...

(I meant to say that the ups and downs of human emotions have to be laid aside before we can partake heavenly wisdom. That is to be taught by God. To partake mana without feast is to receive pure truth and wisdom. Sorry for being confusing...)
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        

#3  Casual Thought             Go Back
双语? Where is your Chinese version?


Let me give it a try:

Casual Thought
by Immanual

随想
Immanual


if I lost my way
do not bother to trace me down
for tomorrow is yet to be a day
ruins of life is to be a town

假如我迷失
请不必找寻我的足迹
因为明天太阳又将升起
生命的废墟上是一座城市

walking into the abssy of night
I will wait to become divine
like the first ray of light
drawing in time a dividing line

步入夜的深渊
我等待着超越非凡
如第一线光
在时光中画一道界限

at every crossroad, they have withstood
the winds from south and east
buffering the last of human mood
now let's feast this mana without yeast

在每个十字路口,他们抵御
八方来风十面埋伏
守卫人类心灵的最后门户
无需发酵粉,现在就为神摆宴庆祝

they invented some shabby jokes
words have power to carve a soul’s wound
but we are to forgive all kinds of folks
there are hearts heaven honed

他们将卑劣的玩笑虚构
以言语划破灵魂之伤口
但我们对形形色色的人们要宽囿
经上天打磨的心必将温柔


中译: 云天


本云乃迷途羔羊,理解有限。匆匆试译曼兄诗,权当欢迎。还请曼兄不吝指正。
曼兄的英诗ABAB 格式压韵,我偷懒,一节一韵。

既为双语,曼兄必自有中译,还请示玉以飨我等。
        

#2  Casual Thought             Go Back
What a surprise!!! Welcome!
Long time no see. So wonderful to see you here, Mr. Immanuel, or 曼兄。
Yeah, better post here, for I'm too lazy a pen pal.

Great spiritual poem, though I have very limited understanding.


Mind my splitting hairs here? ;-) I know you don't.
if I lost my way --- or lose my way?
walking into the abssy of night --- abyss of night?
        

#1【双语 】   Casual Thought             Go Back
if I have lost my way
don't bother to trace me down
for tomorrow is yet to be a day
ruins of life is to be a town

walking into the abyss of night
I will wait to become divine
like the first ray of light
drawing in time a dividing line

at every crossroad, they have withstood
the winds from south and east
buffering the last of human mood
now let's feast this mana without yeast

they invented some shabby jokes
words have power to carve a soul’s wound
but we are to forgive all kinds of folks
there are hearts heaven honed

-------------

YunTian, thought I'd better post it here than email you...


Last modified on 09/04/12 17:42
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世多浮波客,我是波上舟
        



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