拾乐园 Paradise Found  
BBB的博客
 
【三言两语 】 普希金:《致凯恩》(戈宝权译)
http://my.cnd.org/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=64194&forum=6


66 写道:
I loved you, and I probably still do,
And for a while the feeling may remain...
But let my love no longer trouble you,
I do not wish to cause you any pain.
I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,
The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
Made up a love so tender and so true
As may God grant you to be loved again.

----From Pushkin, 1829





你这首普希金的中译版,大概是中学时代大家传抄的最为人所知的外国诗之一。

普希金的诗,也许是所有中文翻译过来的外国诗中,年青时候我最喜欢的几首之一,至今基本仍然能背的,是这首《致凯恩》(戈宝权译):



我记得那美妙的一瞬:
在我的眼前出现了你,
有如昙花一现的幻影,
有如纯洁之美的精灵。

在那绝望的忧愁的苦恼中,
在那喧嚣的虚荣的困扰中
我的耳边长久地响着你温柔的声音,
我还在睡梦中见到你亲爱的面影。

许多年代过去了,狂暴的激情驱散了往日的幻想,
我忘记了你温柔的声音,
和你天仙似的面影。

在穷乡僻壤,在流放的阴暗生活中,
我的岁月就那样静静的消逝过去,
失掉了神性,失掉了灵感,
失掉眼泪,失掉生命,也失掉了爱情。

如今灵魂已开始觉醒:
这时候在我的眼前又重新出现了你,
有如昙花一现的幻影,
有如纯洁之美的精灵。

我的心狂喜地跳跃,
为了它,一切又重新苏醒,
有了神性,有了灵感,
有了眼泪,有了生命,也有了了爱情。
   
  云天     01/15/2010 23:23
哈,普希金诗人在此。 随手译两行。

I Loved You

I loved you, and I probably still do,
And for a while the feeling may remain...
But let my love no longer trouble you,
I do not wish to cause you any pain.
I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,
The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
Made up a love so tender and so true
As may God grant you to be loved again.



我曾经爱过你
普希金
云烟译

我曾经爱过你
或许我现在仍然爱着你
对你的感情依旧留恋徘徊。。。
然而,别让我的爱再次打扰你
我不愿给你带来一丝痛楚
我曾经爱过你
我尝过那种绝望
嫉妒,羞涩---虽然无望—
曾交织成我对你千般温柔万般真挚的爱
求上帝再赐给你一个深爱你的人

*************************************


ZT:

普希金

我曾经爱过你


我曾经爱过你;

爱情,也许;

在我的心灵里还没有完全消失;

但愿他不会再去打扰你;

我也不想再是你难过悲伤;

我曾经默默无语地,

毫无指望地爱过你;

我既忍着羞怯,

又忍着嫉妒的折磨;

我曾经那样真诚,

那样温柔的爱过你;

但愿上帝保佑你,

另一个人也会像我一样爱你

*********************************


顺手把LINK 中古教的曲子贴上来(海,这里贴油管真方便。谢E教指点):

   
  xufei     01/17/2013 12:51
我爱过你 I Loved You 普希金 (徐飞 译自英文)

我爱过你,我也许仍然爱你 I loved you, and I probably still do,
久久地那感觉可能还在心里... And for a while the feeling may remain...
但让我的爱不再麻烦你 But let my love no longer trouble you,
我不愿意把痛苦给你(传)I do not wish to cause you any pain.
我爱过你,那无望我深知 I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,
嫉妒,害羞--虽白费力气-- The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
却使得一种爱那么温柔那么真实 Made up a love so tender and so true
愿上帝能让你再次得到爱的诚意 As may God grant you to be loved again.
   
  云天     01/19/2013 03:04
哈, 徐飞一韵到底。 鼓掌! 还注明“译自英文”, 很学者。


本懒人受影响,匆匆涂几行,试着隔行压韵:


I Loved You

I loved you, and I probably still do,
And for a while the feeling may remain...
But let my love no longer trouble you,
I do not wish to cause you any pain.
I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,
The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
Made up a love so tender and so true
As may God grant you to be loved again.


我爱过你
普希金

我爱过你, 或许我如今仍爱着你
也许,爱情不会顷刻间随风而去
但,让我的爱恋不再烦扰你
我不愿,不愿带给你一丝愁苦
我爱过你;我知道那是怎样的无望无奈
嫉妒,羞惭--- 尽管无济于事
一腔温柔,至真至纯,交织成此情此爱
愿上帝赐福,让你再被深爱一次

云天 译自英文



边写帖边找视频,竟找到不同版本的英译,很有意思。(刚找到的,懒得译了。

Poetry Reading: Pushkin's poem, "I Loved You Once"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEMniaPQt8U



I loved you; and perhaps I love you still,
The flame, perhaps, is not extinguished; yet
It burns so quietly within my soul,
No longer should you feel distressed by it.
Silently and hopelessly I loved you,
At times too jealous and at times too shy.
God grant you find another who will love you
As tenderly and truthfully as I.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I loved you well. Affection's fire unfading
Stll glows, perhaps, in secret in my heart.
But let it pass. No more your peace invading
To grieve you now could never be my part.
I loved you well. In hopelessness unspoken,
No faint with joy, now filled with jealous pain.
Such love sincere, such tenderness unbroken,
God grant that you may meet its like again.
   
  xufei     01/20/2013 14:32
“译自英文”+ 英文紧跟 -- 皮之不存毛将焉附?
英文翻译版本多了,不知道哪个好。但对理解很有帮助

感兴趣老老辈翻译家生硬的中文翻译,也许是为了贴近原文,这样的话也许更容易读出原著的思路、想象、意境。。。
但不认可Milky Way为“牛奶路”- 牛奶太实(comparing to milk?),译回去成了(cow)milk road(?),译作‘奶乳道’(奶白色的大道)如何?
   
  xufei     01/28/2013 18:32
普希金:《致凯恩》(徐飞 译自英文)
Alexander Pushkin

我记得那美妙瞬间: . . . . . . I remember the wonderful moment:
你出现在我的面前 . . . . . . . . You appeared before me,
就好象飞逝的梦幻 . . . . . . . . Like a fleeting vision,
就好象纯美的天仙 . . . . . . . . Like a spirit of pure beauty.

当我疲萎在无望的忧郁中 . . As I languished in hopeless melancholy,
在噪杂不安世间的焦虑中 . . Amid the anxieties of the noisy and restless world,
我耳边回响着你柔和的声音 Your tender voice long echoed in my mind,
在睡梦中看见你可爱的倩影 And I dreamt of your beloved features.

很多年过去了。那风暴的降临 Years passed. The storm's turbulent gusts
消散了旧日的梦形 . . . . . . . . Scattered the dreams of yore,
我忘却了你柔和的声音 . . . . And I forgot your tender voice,
也忘却了你秀美的倩影 . . . . And your wonderful features.

在偏远的地角,在放逐的暗境 In a remote corner of the earth, in the darkness of exile
我的日子拖曳慢行 . . . . . . . . My days dragged slowly on,
没有神谕,没有灵性 . . . . . . Without divinity, without inspiration,
没有眼泪,没有爱情 . . . . . . Without tears, without love.

啊,我的心灵听到呼唤: . . Awakening came to my soul:
哦,你重现在我的面前 . . . . And lo, you appeared again,
就好象飞逝的梦幻 . . . . . . . . Like a fleeting vision,
就好象纯美的天仙 . . . . . . . . Like a spirit of pure beauty.

我的心跳跃欢欣 . . . . . . . . . . And my heart beats in ecstacy,
又一次在我内心 - . . . . . . . . .And once more within it,
有了神谕,有了灵性,有了生命 The divinity, inspiration, life,
有了眼泪,也有了爱情 . . . . Tears, and love are born.

from http://www.auburn.edu/~mitrege/ENGL2210/russian-poetry.html
这篇英译好象不押韵,会不会比较贴近原文?

常见的英译(没有第六段):
A Magic Moment I Remember by Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin
A magic moment I remember:
I raised my eyes and you were there,
A fleeting vision, the quintessence
Of all that's beautiful and rare

I pray to mute despair and anguish,
To vain the pursuits world esteems,
Long did I hear your soothing accents,
Long did your features haunt my dreams.

Time passed. A rebel storm-blast scattered
The reveries that once were mine
And I forgot your soothing accents,
Your features gracefully divine.

In dark days of enforced retirement
I gazed upon grey skies above
With no ideals to inspire me
No one to cry for, live for, love.

Then came a moment of reinessance,
I looked up - you again are there
A fleeting vision, the quintessence
Of all that's beautiful and rare
   
  云天     02/02/2013 03:13
徐飞好译,欣赏。

这篇英译好象不押韵,会不会比较贴近原文?
--- 不懂俄文,或许?
俄文翻成英文,好像很有些差异呢。 我以前一直以为西语之间翻译,意思流失会小一些,相对中译而言。

至于老一辈翻译家,我也非常佩服。 当然,语言在发展,翻译或许也应当与时俱进。



跟着译两段,过把瘾:


I remember the wonderful moment:
You appeared before me,
Like a fleeting vision,
Like a spirit of pure beauty.

我仍记得那美妙瞬间
你倏然出现在我眼前
仿佛惊鸿一瞥的梦幻
恰似至纯至美之天仙

As I languished in hopeless melancholy,
Amid the anxieties of the noisy and restless world,
Your tender voice long echoed in my mind,
And I dreamt of your beloved features.

滚滚红尘中浮华万千
我无望忧伤憔悴不堪
你的柔声回响我心间
梦中浮动你美丽容颜
   
  xufei     02/03/2013 23:38
云天 wrote: (2/2/2013 3:13)跟着译两段,过把瘾:
I remember the wonderful moment:
You appeared before me,
Like a fleeting vision,
Like a spirit of pure beauty.
我仍记得那美妙瞬间
你倏然出现在我眼前
仿佛惊鸿一瞥的梦幻
恰似至纯至美之天仙
As I languished in hopeless melancholy,
Amid the anxieties of the noisy and restless world,
Your tender voice long echoed in my mind,
And I dreamt of your beloved features.
滚滚红尘中浮华万千
我无望忧伤憔悴不堪
你的柔声回响我心间
梦中浮动你美丽容颜
很生动!让我看到未曾看到的地方。